Your loved one is finally laid to rest, but the mourning lingers. The feeling of loss seems to be going nowhere. It hurts. It is painful. You find yourself longing. You wake up in the middle of the night sobbing. There will be moments and memories that will make you vividly remember the person. Seeing the stuff that’s left behind, for example, will break your heart, and you find yourself crying again.
You ask if you can get through this despite all the pain. The answer is yes you can. You may never be the same after a loved one’s death, but you will find yourself moving on and experiencing life again. Right now, going through sadness and even depression is understandable. It is normal. You are dealing with the loss. Go through it. Face it. It is better than denial. When you finally accept the truth no matter how sad, get yourself together and get on with your life.
To help you get through this time, you may want to:
1. Get the support of family, friends and even co-workers.
Having a shoulder to cry on or someone that will listen when you just want to pour out your emotions is therapeutic. It always makes you feel better after. These people are not just there for you during the happy moments. These people will also be there for you when you are grieving. Reach out to them. Do not hesitate. I know that they are more than willing to be with you in your time of sadness.
2. Find comfort in your faith.
Your faith offers a window of understanding and acceptance. When you find yourself overwhelmed with grief, talk to your religious leader. This person’s counsel is going to help you get the strength you need. Even reading the scriptures gives you ways to cope with loss and grief.
3. Find a support group.
Sympathy is good; empathy is better. It is like you share a feeling that you know exactly what it is about. You are able to talk and listen with more compassion. Knowing that you are not alone and that someone is going through the same pain and grief is both consoling and comforting.
4. Do some activities to help get over your grief.
Get your mind off of your grief. Do something fun and good for you. Find a new hobby. Learn something new. Meet new people. Read more. Watch feel-good movies. Talk to people. Get out. Be more involved in your family’s activities. Volunteer in your community. Do something, anything, that will help you move on.
5. Get on with your life.
Do not waste your days wallowing in pain and loneliness. To grieve is normal as well as to worry, especially if you are just early on in your grieving period. However, it is a different thing if you no longer find a reason to face mornings with a happy disposition. It is a different thing if you just want to stay in bed longer than necessary because you do not want to get on with your day. You need to find a balance. Get 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, and then pick yourself up. Get on with your day even if it is a struggle.
Remember that dealing with grief is a process. The way you handle it is not the same with others, so take the time that you need. Just do not lose yourself in the process. Do not let your grief take control of the rest of your life.
Ryan Rivera is the publisher and editor of the Calm Clinic. The Calm Clinic was founded on the idea that knowledge is power, and Ryan continues to dedicate himself towards providing information designed to help others permanently overcome their anxiety issues while bringing greater awareness to what it’s like to live with constant anxiety.